Why do I feel drawn to her? Ch 7: Monster or Human

When Noir went back to where Lena were,
She saw her standing by the railing of the boat.
And she went up and hugged her from behind.
“Luv?” Lena said.
“How can someone like me be so lucky to have someone like you.” Noir said and buried her face in Lena’s hair.
“Ye still wondering about that?” Lena replied and turned around and looked at Noir’s troubled face.
“I’ve betrayed Overwatch and killed so many.” She started but Lena interrupted her with a kiss and said.
“Ye are so much more than that, and besides you had no real choice in what ye did back then. You do not have to carry all that pain alone anymore.”
“Chérie.” Noir said and kissed her again.

“Hey love birds we’re about to rendezvous with the freight ship so get ready!” One of the crewmen said.
They soon saw the large freight ship.
“So these are the two we are transporting. Interesting. The now wanted Widowmaker and Tracer of Overwatch. What an interesting duo.” The Captain said when they stepped on board.
They did not reply.
“Well you are free to roam around the ship for the most part. But if the authorities from the UN or some other parties shows up you two will have to hide. understood?” He continued.
Noir nodded in reply.
“Good.” He said and left the two of them.

“So what now?” Lena asked and looked at Noir.
“I do not know, I’m exhausted.” Noir replied.
“How about hitting the bunks then luv?” She said.
“Oui, sounds like a good idea.” Noir replied.
So they asked one of the crewmen where their cabin was.
And they were shown to a cabin that had a hidden doorway.
It was a small room with only one bunk.
Noir sat down on the bed.
“What are we going to do really? We can not continue to run away like this.” She said.
“Just calm down luv.” Lena said and hugged her.
“You are the only thing that keeps me afloat.” Noir replied and hugged her back and pulled her down on to the bed with her so Lena was on top.
And they just laid there in each others arms not saying a word.

Lena had her head on Noir’s chest.
She could hear her slow heartbeat.
She could not stop thinking about what Talon had done to her.
Tinkered with, changed, suppressed, bent and broken her only to suit their needs.
Not even caring that they played with a human life.
But they won't ever do that to her again. I will make sure of that. Lena thought to herself.
She looked up at Noir’s face only to see that she had fallen asleep.
She may say that she is a monster. But to Lena she is human.
She looks so calm when she sleeps. That is not a face of a monster. She thought to herself.
“So cold” She said as she put her head down on the chest again and her cheek touched Noir’s blue skin.
“Do ever feel the cold?” Lena said and fell asleep as well.

Noir woke up after a while.
She looked around the small cabin. But her eyes stopped on the same thing as the last few days.
Lena was sleeping half on top of her again.
Noir smiled and stroked Lena on her cheek before carefully stepping out of bed.
She did not want to wake her up.
Noir left Lena in the cabin She felt that she needed some fresh air.

Noir went up on the deck and stood by the railing taking in the fresh air from the ocean.
After a while the Captain actually went up next to her.
“So how come that one of Talon’s best agents have decided to go rogue?” The Captain asked as he lighted a cigarette.
“Well it is a complicated story.” Noir replied.
“I can imagine. But there is something about you that I did not expect.” He said.
“And what is that?” Noir asked with a suspicious look at him.
“You seem more human than I expected. I actually imagined you more of cold and emotionless assassin.” He replied.
“More human?” She said in a low tone.
Did she actually seem to be more human now. Only Lena and Angela seemed to have seen that, and maybe Reaper said something like that as well.
“Yes. And I can see that maybe that may have played a part to why you have left Talon. They always seem to want to keep their top agents as cold and effective as possible.” He continued.
“Yes that is correct.” Noir said.
“I don’t really agree with that. It only shows that you don’t care for your men that you only sees them as a means to an end. Like tools. Only people that feel weak with their command want men like that.” He said.
“Why are you telling me all this?” She asked.
“Because I am willing to offer you a job.” He replied.
“A job?”
“Yes. We could use people that is willing to protect our shipments. That means not only this ship but you will also help others within Slick’s little group.”  He continued.
Work for Slick. It is not really what she would want, but it is an option.
“I do not know yet. I still have a few things to do before I can give you an answer.” Noir finally said.
“Very well I understand. I will leave the offer on hold then.” He said and left her.

“Luv?” A familiar voice suddenly said and Noir turned around and saw Lena standing there.
“What is it Chérie?” She replied.
“What did the Captain want?” Lena asked.
“He said that he was willing to offer me a job within Slick’s organization.” She said.
“And what did you say?” Lena said.
“That I would think about it, and that I got other things that I need to do.” Noir said and put a hand on Lena’s cheek.
“Right now I want to stay with you” She continued.
“Well at least it’s an option. But right now I don’t feel like leaving ye either luv.” Lena replied and put her hand on Noir’s.

Sudley gunshots could be heard and a crewman yelled at them to go inside they were under attack.
Bullets soon went all over the place but they eventually got inside.
They meet the Captain on the way and Noir asked.
“Which group is it?”
“It is a group of Pirates.” He replied.
But right then a grenade went off on the deck.
“It would seem like ye could need some help?” Lena said.
“I hate to say it. Seeing that we are supposed to protect you. But yes if you are willing to help I would appreciate it” He replied.
Lena looked at Noir and Noir looked at her
“Very well. We will go at get our gear so we can help.” Noir finally said.
He nodded in reply and they left.

“Are ye going to try to get up to a good sniping position Luv?” Lena asked when they had their gear.
“Oui I will. But be carefull Chérie.” Noir started but Lena interrupted her with a kiss.
“You should be careful as well Luv.” She said and blinked away.

Noir went on top of the bridge and started to snipe at the pirates.
She could see Lena doing her thing down there.
“She will be fine. Just focus at the task at hand.” She said to herself.
And the battle went on and Noir had gotten a big grin on her face.
She was enjoying this.
The pirates put up a good fight but She was almost in a trance, it was looking so easy for her.
She effortlessly aimed all over the ship never missing a shot.
She may have only felt something at the moment of the kill before, but this was different.
She had never felt this amount of enjoyment from killing.
Killing.
She enjoy killing?

The grin disappeared quickly after the battle.
“I enjoyed that?” She said to herself and sat down.
“Those were my enemies. But they were still human. But I enjoyed killing them?” She said and looked at her hand.
Is she really human or is she just a monster.
“You did great Luv!” A familiar voice said and Lena jumped onto Noir hugging her.
“So did you Chérie.” She replied.
“Is something the matter luv?” Lena asked noticing that something was wrong.
“Non it’s nothing just a bit tired that’s all.” She said and kissed Lena.
She was not surprised that Lena noticed something. But she did not feel like talking about right now.
“Okay. By the way the Captain wanted to talk to us.” Lena replied and stood up also pulling Noir up as well.
Noir nodded and the two of them went down to the bridge.

“Well I see that your reputation as the world's best sniper is not a fluke Widowmaker.” The Captain said when they entered the bridge.
Noir did not reply.
“Well I like to thank you for helping us. Thanks to you two none of the most important cargo was damaged, and most importantly I did not lose many of my men.” He continued.
“We’re happy to help ye out” Lena replied.
“Sadly I have some bad news as well. Due to the damage the ship took we'll have to stop in the closest harbor for repairs. So it is up to you if you feel like waiting for the ship to be repaired or depart when we arrive.” He said.
“What should we do luv?” Lena asked and looked at Noir.
“We will see when we get there” She said.
“Very well then we will keep you updated when we arrive” He said.
Noir and Lena then left the bridge and went back to their little cabin.

When they came back Noir asked.
“Do you find enjoyment from battles Chérie?”
“Huh? Well I enjoy a good fight once in awhile. But why’d ye ask Luv?” Lena replied.
“In the battle before. I felt enjoyment out of killing the pirates. I felt enjoyment in killing humans.” Noir said and looked down on the floor.
Lena looked at her. She could see that Noir was really conflicted by this thought.
“Well maybe it was not the killing that ye found enjoyment from. Maybe it was just from the battle itself. I said that I enjoy a good fight but I don’t enjoy killing people.” Lena finally said.
“But before I could only feel something at the moment of the kill at a job well done. This felt similar but stronger.” Noir replied.
Lena put a hand on Noir’s cheek and said.
“Yeah this was a job well done. But ye still feel like killing is wrong. You are conflicted with the one ye are now and the one ye were before. It will take time but I’m sure ye will find your way at some point.”
Noir looked Lena in the eyes and put her hand on Lena’s.
“How can you love a monster like me?” She said.
“Why do ye keep calling yourself that. You are not a monster. You are very much a living human being. I’m not in love with a monster, I’m in love with the most beautiful human in the world.” Lena replied with a smile.
Noir did not know what to say. She could not fully believe what Lena just said but she felt that warm feeling again. Was she human or is she still a monster. She really did not know anymore. But she want to be the human that Lena says that she is.
Noir took of her gloves and put a hand on Lena’s chest right on the skin above the Accelerator.
“Your skin is so warm.” She said.
She could also feel Lena’s heart beating faster.
“Do ye like the warmth?” Lena stuttered. She was blushing.
“Oui I love it.” She replied with a smile.
“You are a bit awkward sometimes luv.” Lena said with a little laugh her face was still red, as she leaned forward and kissed Noir.
“Can I feel it like we did before at the mansion?” She asked.
Lena is the only one that can make her feel close to be human, and right now she wants to be close to her.
“Ye are not really subtle either ye know that luv.” Lena laughed again, and then whispered in Noir’s ear.
“Of course you can luv.”

“Ouais c'est agréable.” Noir said after awhile when they just laid in the bed holding each other in their arms.
“Huh?” Lena said.
“Yeah this is nice.” Noir said again.
“Hey that is my line ye know.” Lena replied with a smile.
Noir just smiled back at her.
But they were soon interrupted by a knock on the door and a voice on the other side that said.
“We are soon entering port. So if you are departing you should make yourself ready now.”

“So what are we going to do luv?” Lena asked.
“A part of me want to stay on board. But I do not think it is such a good idea to stay in the same place for too long.” Noir replied.
“So should we depart then luv?” She asked.
“Oui I think we should.” Noir replied.
“Then let’s make us ready then.” Lena said and went up out of the bed.

They meet the Captain on the deck when they got out.
“So you are leaving then.” He said.
“Yes we are. Thanks for all the help.” Noir said.
“No problem there Widow. We only did our job. And we also appreciate the help that you have given us.” The Captain replied.
“By the way I go by the name Noir now not Widowmaker.” Noir said.
“Noir. Yeah that sounds a little better than Widowmaker.” He said.
“I agree.” Lena said.
“And Noir my offer still stands. You are free to stay and work for us if you want.” He said.
“Thanks I will keep that in mind. But right now I have other things I need to deal with.” She replied.
“You are welcome back if you do.” He said.
“Thanks and goodbye” Noir said.
“Bye” Lena said as well.
“Goodbye.” The Captain said and waved them off as they left the ship.

“So what are we going to do now luv?” Lena asked when they had walked for awhile.
“Well we should at first try to find a safe place in this city where we can make contact with Angela and tell her where we are.” Noir replied.
“Yeah that sounds like a good idea.” Lena said.
And the two them continued to walk for awhile until they found a small little hotel.

“I can go and get us something to eat while you make the call luv.” Lena said when they had settled down in their room.
“Do so Chérie. But be careful we do not know if Talon have people in this city.” Noir replied.
“Don’t worry so much luv I will.” Lena said with a smile and left the room.

“So you have found a country to lay low in for a while then.” Angela said.
“Yes for now I think.” Noir said.
“You do not sound really confident Noir.” She said.
“Right now I find it hard to be confident at all. There are so many uncertainties right now so I do not really know.” Noir replied.
“Just be calm. You two just need to be there for each other right now.” Angela said.
“I know. But I do not know what we should do. We can not keep on running like this.” Noir said.
“Ja that is true. What I think that you should is to get your way here to Overwatch.” She said.
“What should I do there, after all I have done. Probably many Overwatch agents want me either dead or locked away for life, and I think Lena would not want me to be in locked away like that.” Noir said with a troubled voice.
“Ja you probably have a point there. But I think I we could work something out. You would not be the first ex criminal to join us. But you still need a place where you can feel safe, a place you can call home. It would be good for you, and not only but for Lena as well.” Angela replied.
But then Noir remembered something should not Lena be back with the food right about now. She looked around and saw that Lena had left her pistols here in the room.
“What? What is it Noir?” Angela asked.
“I think Lena could be in danger. I better go and look for her.” Noir replied worriedly.
“Don’t you think she could take care of herself?” Angela asked.
“Yeah maybe but she left her pistols in the room.” Noir said still very worriedly.
“Just remain calm and assess the situation Noir.” Angela tried to say but it was to late Noir hung up and went and got the weapons and left the room.

When Noir got to the bottom floor her fears were realized.
The lobby was crawling with Talon grunts.
She tried to sneak around to see where Lena was.
She found her unconscious and tied up. Two Talon grunts stood there guarding her as well.
But just as Noir was about to try to save her. She felt pain in the back of her head and everything went black.